Sexual Arousal: The Difference Between Men and Women
One of the major sexual differences (apart from the obvious!) between men and women is the relative speed and ease with which they become aroused.
Arousal is always the first step towards sexual satisfaction but right from the start men and women are usually out of sync - one is raring to get started and the other isn't.
This can, and frequently does, create problems in sexual relationships. However, when couples understand these differences and the reasons why, and take it into account in their lovemaking, sex could not be better!
Most men can become fully aroused in a few of minutes, if not seconds, responding rapidly and easily to basic and and generally predictable triggers - a simple sound, sight, smell or touch. Occasionally, male arousal is a just a bit too quick - most men have stories, sometimes rather embarrassing, about times when they've become aroused at awkeard moments, in spite of their best efforts not to.
Sexual arousal in women is a slower, complex and sometimes difficult process. This not because women are less interested than men, or due to their anatomy, but due to the different function nature intends women to have in the reproductive process.
Men focus on specific issues and goals, one at a time, rather than the "big picture". Men are designed to produce as many offspring as possible. Therefore, when sex is the focus, it is the only issue that matters. No other issue is involved. It doesn't matter that his life may be falling apart, or that this current sexual encounter may cause it to do so! This is all that matters, and there is little he can do about it. Nature has intended it to be so.
The opposite is true of women. A woman's sexuality is intricately linked to other aspects of woman's life: emotions, levels of stress, feelings about herself and her surroundings and her feelings about the man she is with. Unconsciously or subconsciously it is connected with reproduction and whether or not her instincts determine if her partner is a suitable father for her child (even if contraceptives are used).
In order to be aroused, women need to be properly prepared, properly treated and given the time required for the decision to be unconsciously made. She needs to forget about the problems of the day, about how she looks and block out everything else she is thinking of.
This doesn't mean that she runs through a lengthy checklist in her head - "Health of our relationship: OK, Desirability of male: very, Feelings about my body: I hate it". No, it just means that she needs more time for the big picture to go; for its concerns and problems to fade away. For her to be able to focus on right now. "Yes I feel fat but he can't get enough of me", "Yes I locked the door", "Wow, this wine is good", "No, the cooker's not still on".....
Depending on what's going on in her head, this process can take just a little time or an awful lot of time (usually seems like the latter). The male, who is already aroused and ready to go, will be very wise to control himself and to give his partner the time she needs.
After all is said and done, he is generally finished just as quickly as he gets aroused, whereas she.....................